i feel bloated...let's go topless on the beach!!

It was too expensive to drink anything but beer in Iceland. In England, well, I drank everything and now in Switzerland, I am being fed like a sumo wrestler and have been sucking down the wine. I think the healthiest thing I have eaten in the past week has been a piece of marzipan that was shaped like a carrot. i am now vacation pregnant (vacation pregnant-a state of bloat resembling pregnancy often acquired on holiday). so, you can imagine my excitement about hitting the beaches of Italy this weekend with my svelte Swiss Jasmin (bless her toned little heart). I've decided that my best solution is to get one of those sarongs and just wrap it around my entire body and head. Then, no one will even know who I am, let alone the fact that my skin is in distress and the state of my body has made me one step closer towards being Danny Devito's doppleganger. I think everything will be better once I reduce my caloric intake to less than 30,000 calories a day and start drinking less than 3 liters of booze each night.
Other than feeling like shit (thank you, London), I'm having a great time in Switzerland. I am going to do a lot of sightseeing (as well as partying) with my friends here. I arrived in Basel yesterday, went on a ferry to an old church (that was closed), had a massive dinner Jasmin made, and then went to the discotheque and danced whilst dodging some ugly Swiss guys all up on my shit. This morning, I have the house to myself and am just being lazy as Jasmin has a packed itinerary for every second I'm here.
I will put pics up later. No nude shots...I promise.